And speaking of being a doormat…here’s about the day I got truly cured…
I’ve done a lot of running in my time. Oh, not the kind of sexy, wind-in-my-hair, or I’m going to get some exercise type of running either. I mean the insane run to this appointment, that meeting, luncheon, work in the morning type of running. The ones full of movement, but without any real satisfying internal activity. It’s fucking exhausting. You can still wind up feeling like a slave to everyone else’s whims…what the kids want, what the mate wants, what the boss wants. Sometimes life is like a truly boring treadmill, and someone removed the damn stop button. I used to work in a building where there were elevator attendants (and as silly as it sounds, these were not old fashioned, gated elevators – think old movies). These were fully electric, push the button for your floor elevators, but the owner still thought the attendants were needed. I thought I had mastered the ability of getting myself to the fifth floor alone, perhaps others were not so skilled. Mr. Jackson was the attendant. One morning, I was running late. I scurried through the lobby where I saw one of the elevator doors still open. There was Mr. Jackson, smiling, motioning his hand down to slow me. “A queen does not run to an elevator, the elevator waits for a queen.”.
Now this might seem like a mere kind thing to say…but that moment changed my entire attitude about who and what I am. That sentence conveyed so much more than the words themselves. I instantly picked my head up and walked straighter. I understood, for the first time, that I could be someone for me. Not only did I have value, but it was my duty to represent that value from the inside out. I could consider my own desires, set my own goals, and behave in a regal manner. But remember that with great personal power comes great responsibility. This isn’t a license to become a bossy cunt. Rather, be someone that people might be inspired by. Move directly through the world. Be secure in your aim, your intentions, your motivation. Do what makes you glow. Make your happiness a priority, but not to the detriment of others. Be kind as much as possible, but within reason. It serves no one to give to the point where you are hurting yourself. Yes, you will continue to hear me say things like this often.
Until next time, may you be blessed by the Gods.