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Sunday, August 14, 2016

Magickal Hibernation (Dorian Wallace)

At least that's what I've been calling it. There have been a lot of changes in my life the past few years and in this past year, my casting has seemed to go dormant. I still do offerings to the Gods, but it has all become as needed for others and maybe one or two for myself. But, I'm also okay with this....something in me needs to rest.

I went through something similar in my mid twenties. Knowing I was still a Witch and had my feet firmly planted on the Pagan Path, but also knowing I needed to veer and take a different direction. We all know we're a bit different even in our childhood and we search for the path from an early age....I was five, watching an episode of a show called In Search Of and watched the initiation of Penny Cabot and I knew, that's where I wanted to be. Fast forward to the age of sixteen and finding out that, yes, there are real witches out there and I worked with two of them! Unfortunately, they were not very friendly women and told me to check out the book store for books on witchcraft if I wanted to learn. So, I did. It was not always easy sneaking said books, (sometimes hidden under my shirt), into my Roman Catholic parents home, or being accused of smoking marijuana because I was performing candle magick in the late hours of the night and my mother could smell the smoke when I blew it out, and most tools were out of the question. Although, when I was nineteen, I discovered an awesome little shop in Riverside California called Dragonmarsh, (it's still there if you're in the area), and started stocking up on herbs and a black mirror. 

In my mid twenties, I was a single Mom and was part of a local Wiccan Church, (you've heard me talk about my friends on air), but something wasn't clicking anymore for me. I wanted more, I wanted to stretch my magickal wings, I was frustrated....so I stepped away for a little while. I think all witches go through this at some point and I think it's just part of growing. I came back, but decided Wicca wasn't for me and became pretty much a Kitchen Witch. 

Now I am in my early forties and going through a similar situation, but am not panicking and not even remotely thinking of stepping away. I am not sure if this is a growing, dormant or metamorphosis period, but I'm looking forward to finding out. Everything has kind of shut down for the Summer.....writing, reading, casting, even listening to music. It may be a mild depression due to some major life changes. Depression doesn't necessarily mean that I'm sad, I'm actually quite happy, I feel stronger than I have in a very long time. I just feel reflective and unmotivated, but I'm going to be okay. I know that because I have lived through worse, I have an amazing network of friends and family. I'm just going with the flow until the Gods tell me it's time to wake up. 

Bright Blessings to you all!